almost

there i sat yesterday with a brand new debit card in hand. the glow of the computer screen around me as i stared at the active.com website. my eyes glazed. heart racing. ready to click go. confirm my registration. five times. this is where i found myself five times. so why the consternation. who cares? i register for races all the time. but this was a little different. for one it was the race itself. the ascent. a 7, 815 foot vertical gain over 13.32 miles. running up a mountain. in colorado. and then it was the fact i have promised to not register for anything "big" until after april. and then of course there are all of the attendant issues of training for such an event when you live in flatland. with plentiful oxygen. if i did indeed opt to break my promise regarding registration for big events prior to the break date. my phenomenal long distance (in both race distance and physical proximity) running partner, sister-in-law, and dear friend amy had decided to tackle the mountain in her backyard and honestly i am both intimidated and intrigued. it sounds awe inspiring and insane. when i got home from work i busted out my tape measure. and approached the treadmill. then i did some mathematical calculations to determine the grade of the incline. and then i ran. it was tough. and fun. and good. i hoped off with a renewed sense of determination. ready to go. run up that mountain. both proverbial and actual. and in front of the computer screen i sat once again...

but alas my senses kick in. or more accurately i remembered all the reasons why i had decided that i was not registering for anything right now. i can't put in the training that is necessary. this week is a perfect example. i ran once in the past 5 days. work has been busy. mere has been far busier. and there are just other things to attend to at this moment. not sure how things will look in a few months but until then i need to adhere to the path i have decided on. i will keep running of course. but the ascent is out. for now. the running opener is in 2 weeks. a 10k. spencer is tackling the 1k. and he is super excited about it. small goals. digestible bits. manageable pieces to get me through. for now.