killing the buzz

this morning i ran. just a few miles but i finally managed to roll my sorry behind out of bed to run for a bit before work. and i even pushed my pace a bit as well. and then i showered and put on one of favorite work outfits. prepped the boy for his day. and headed out. as soon as i started walking across the parking lot for work it started raining. big fat drops. and then suddenly it was dark. and ominous. and pouring. and i loved it. there were rumbles of thunder. and a streak of lightening in the background. the day was busy but acceptable. and then i did something i rarely get an opportunity to - i left on time to go run again. changed into running clothes and drove to lake n.okomis to meet victoria. only planned for a single lap around the lake since i was going to pick up the boy. then head over to pick up my race packet for saturday. and stop for mere's birthday gift. it was overcast. but nice. mid 40's. very few people out. we ran and chatted. and it was good fun. crossing the street back to the cars we were talking about g.armins and n.ike+ and mileage and the like. and then i noticed it. the shattered glass where my passenger window used to be. the t.arget bag with my work clothes, shoes, my watch - gone. my i.pod and headphones and armband - gone. my beloved n.orthface jacket that made its way through italy with me - no more. my license, my credit cards, gift cards, insurance cards, pictures of spencer. all taken. and my backpack. filled with all the things that i take with me everyday. suddenly just not there anymore. and most of the things in it don't mean anything to anyone. sure there were a number of items of considerable financial value. but there were so many more that no one can ever replace. and that no one will be able to understand what they meant to me. cards. words. pictures. papers. my water bottles. my glasses. prescriptions. old training schedules. my new r.unners world magazine. rocks from all over. things that meant something to me. and only me. words that i wrote down because i needed to. and because i wanted to. and because i had to. just to get by. and now they have been taken. and tainted. and i think that is the hardest part. i cancelled the credit cards. i can replace the window. i will be reimbursed for some of the items that were taken. but the things that can't be replaced are the things that leave the gaping hole. it really is the little things to me. the details. it always has been. and now the details are disrupted. and tainted. so i feel a bit off...and i don't have a birthday present for meredith. not really the way i thought i would be ending a day of doubles.