winter has arrived

yup its cold. finally. it definitely took its time but now it has set it. high today was well 18 degrees. with the wind chill it was 8. so running tomorrow should be interesting to say the least. yes i have run in worse (much colder) but initially it is always such a shock. i will be fine. last weekend was 20+ in shorts in the 34 degrees but i will skip the shorts in the morning. or maybe sunday. i am not tied to either day honestly. i should figure out when there is will be less wind and go with that...just looking forward to a nice run. no pressure just get out there an move.

i like the winter. even in minnesota. there is something about everything being paused a bit at least in nature that is calming to me. and it all looks pristine and lovely - at least when it is covered in nice white snow. i say all of this now though when it is 0 next week i may be regretting it. we shall see. for now i will just appreciate my ability to run outside - be it in the freezing cold or otherwise. a marathon still awaits. and i am on a journey to be who i'm destined to be.

pride.

i am rarely "proud" of anything i do. but tonight as i was driving home i was looking over the route i ran yesterday and i was struck by just how far it was. 20.25 miles. it is far. and i did a good job. i kept pushing. there was something about seeing it all lit up by the building and street lights that made it something else entirely. i can't really explain it. i just smiled when i saw it. and loved the slight pang in my legs. and felt a bit stronger. and stood a little bit taller.

enough

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye.."

~Bob Perks

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

appreciating what you have

thanksgiving.
a day to think about all the important things in your live. and to give thanks for where you have been. and to look forward to where you are going. for some perhaps. for others it might be a day to watch the macys parade. and football. and then eat turkey. and drink beer. and avoid awkward conversations with your relatives. for me it was more of the former. but i can definitely appreciate the latter...

i ran this morning. i had been looking forward to getting outside all week since my recently redeveloped strained relationship with the treadmill (of course i love and appreciate you but i just don't think we are going anywhere). skipped the whole turkey trot thing and just ran on my own (the $30 still in my bank account thanks me). i have a bit of a cold that is slowly me down a touch but not enough to prevent me from getting out and running. it was actually a little chilly for the first time weeks. nothing bad but just a noticeable difference. i wore pants. and gloves. put in a little over five miles. great to be outside. an opportunity to recenter myself and just get some perspective. then home again to my family for breakfast. a nap. and then an amazing thanksgiving meal prepared by meredith.

thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. meredith's too. it makes me think of family. and home. and growing up. all about nostaligia. we draw on our memories while trying to create new ones for spencer. it's an interesting balance. and there is a comfort to all of it. i remember the times when it snowed over a foot and sarah and eric and i went sledding in the backyard while the turkey was cooking before family came over. i remember when the whole extended family came down from ny so we could all enjoy the time together. i remember going to my grandparents house and the turkey not being completely cooked so they put it in the microwave to finish the job (and i also distinctly remember not eating it that year). and there were definitely the years as i got older that we snuck beers into backpacks in the backhall and then brought them to my room to consume later. or played basketball outside in the pouring rain in an effort to prove something to cousins who thought they knew everything. or tackle football in the sideyard. it all seemed so simple then. and maybe it still is but we have just started looking at it differently. and more recently we have spent thanksgivings with merediths siblings. our house has always been full around this time so it is a bit of a shift this year. not bad but different. i miss the hustle and bustle of it all but love the closeness of the most important people in my life. this is the first year in a long time that it was just "us" for thanksgiving - our family unit - mere, spencer and myself. it was nice. we talked about what we were thankful for. and we ate good food. and appreciated all that we have. and cast our hopes into the sky for the future. we have been ver fortunate in our lives. we have good people in our lives. and we have a lot to be thankful for. i am hopeful that the coming year brings more opportunities for us all.

i know good people. i am fortunate enough to be related to many of you. and to have made a lot of you "family". regardless of where you fall on that spectrum i appreciate you all.

shift

i skipped my tuesday run. and worked on my resume. work has been a bit tumultuous. lay offs. and general upheaval with little guidance on what is to come. i have survived unscathed thus far but there is still my general malaise on the entire experience that led me to believe that my time would be better spent updating my resume. and looking for some viable alternatives. apparently employers don't often seek you out to find a new job you will thoroughly enjoy. who knew? i felt great after my run on saturday. 17 miles and my body was ready for it. my hip is definitely adjusting well. new shoes are worked into the rotation. all is flowing well. or at least it was until this week hit. and then gears shifted.

i am grumpy though. and tense. there are so many things racing through my head. i can feel my muscles tightening and my jaw grinding. i need to run. i want to run. but i don't feel like getting up and doing it. sounds weird given what i just said i know. sometimes those first few steps are the hardest ones though...

17 miles. enough said.

pushing it

my new philosophy. i have opted in my training for surf city to push things a bit. i'm not certain this will actually yield any positive results come race day but it has been interesting all the same thus far. prior to this week training had honestly gotten off to a rocky start. i think i needed a little more time to recover physically (and mentally) from portland. it was an amazing experience and i was taking it all in while trying to figure out what the heck was up with my hip. i preemptively (perhaps) registered for another marathon and may have suffered from a little buyers remorse after the fact. but no more! last week i ran. intervals. tempo. and then a shorter weekend run with some cross-training at the gym. this week was all out on task. 6 miles of intervals on tuesday where i pushed my pace and enjoyed the burn. 7 mile tempo on thursday. a delightful run where the last three miles were so fantastic i didn't want to stop. (all 15 seconds faster than scheduled). and then this morning ushered in the return to the long run. i was excited and nervous. it has been just over a month since the portland marathon and i haven't run further than 7 miles in the interim. and i have been diligently doing my strengthening and stretches for my hip it/bursa issue. (while i think PT is great i don't really want to hang out there all the time...)

so this morning i opted for 13. plotted a course of 6.5 miles out along west river parkway and back. and then i set out. the morning was almost breathtaking. 47 degrees. cloudless sky. a bit past sunrise with a slight wind. very un-november like. so i started running. made it to the first scheduled "water stop" fountain around mile 1.6. no water. kept running. tried the next one at 2.3 miles. no luck. and then it dawned on me that it really is november. in minnesota. and the water has been turned off even if the weather seems confused by this. so i had to mentally reroute my course to accommodate for this oversight. immediately designated my vehicle as my water stop and kept running (i was running while rerouting as well). ran 7.5 miles and finally had some water and vitalyte (the beverage of choice for surf city and not a bad choice i might add) - much better than the ultima at portland). set out for another loop going the opposite direction on the mississippi river. i was tired but happy to see that i still had it in me to make it this far. sometimes i wonder after i have run a long distance if i haven't just lost the miles somewhere. like i was pouring water out of a pitcher. clearly not the case but these are the things that float through my head at times. okay back on task. i ran over the stone arch bridge and into the two mile home stretch. but as i was getting closer i thought i bet i can run further than this. i had told myself before i started that when you think you can't go further, run two more miles. so i made it back to my car at 13.35 miles and decided to go for 15. smaller loop this time. just bridge to bridge and back. ran. said hello to some homeless looking gentleman and crossed the second bridge at mile 15. and i was spent. super spent. but i still had a little ways to go before i was back at the car so i ran. 15.5 miles total. walked .25 miles to cooldown. (all done over a minute faster a mile than what i was slated for. i will happily take it.) could i have pushed 17. maybe. but why? i suppose there is always a reason. but i was satisfied. i felt good. my hip felt good. (apparently following the stretching and strengthening recommended by PT is beneficial). and then i went home. showered. ate. spencer and i took the dog out for a walk. he rode his bike. i walked. and chatted with amy who is suffering with hip nonsense. different hip nonsense. possibly more annoying injury than my it issue which hopefully is on the up tick. all in all it was a delightful morning and early afternoon.

and finally to cap off my afternoon. i followed some sage advice. last week my PT at TRIA also recommended getting superfeet insoles. and new shoes. i knew the shoes were on the horizon. but oddly i dread this every time. just when i get a pair of shoes feeling great i need a new pair. the superfeet were not surprising but had not been completely anticipated. today i scored both. my running store - which i as general rule love - does not carry superfeet. so first stop was rei (the place where when someone asks "where would you spent thousands of dollars? " -this would be my answer). then on to run n' fun. small local establishment that is fellow runners helping you run better. at least thats how i think of it. i brought along the superfeet and had my feet once again "fitted" for the proper shoes. tried on a few different pairs of narrow stability, but not quite motion control, shoes and ran up and down the sidewalk in my jeans. yup thats how i roll (hey its usually work clothes). it was between a pair of new balance and a pair of saucony. they both felt good. i asked my helpful salesperson/super fast runner man his opinion and went with the new balance. i am hopeful. but ever appreciative of the return policy as well. hope to knock out a few miles on the treadmill tomorrow to test them out and then we should be good to go.

tomorrow is supposed to be unseasonably lovely as well. looking forward to lunch with friends (but not to cleaning). i think pushing it is working out for me. at least it seems like a good philosophy...

PT and a chihuahua

sugar fueled weekend for my boy. between halloween and spencer's first ever kid's birthday party there was a lot of excitement. we had tucker for the weekend. i never thought i would love a chihuahua but seriously that dog is fantastic. managed to squeeze in some cross-training (admittedly my weak point). and like all weekends it went too fast...


the scoop on PT. my hips are misaligned. my left foot is flat. i lack balance. but can it be fixed? sure why not. after an assessment that consisted of stretching. walking. and having my legs pulled this way and that a routine of strengthening and stretching was established. and it became quite evident where my hip issue is stemming from. strange how evident it becomes when someone says oh look your foot is flat and it pulls this which pulls that and your hip is then completely off. yup makes sense to me. so i am doing my exercises. and my stretches. i like PT. my therapist is excellent. very down to earth and seemingly interested in actually fixing the chief complaint (throbbing left hip pain after running more than 6-8 miles) while understanding that i am going to keep running while the fixing is going on. if i could have someone (besides meredith or other family members) tell me what i am doing wrong and how to fix it on a regular basis i would definitely pay for that service. maybe just related to running. maybe to bigger aspects of my life...i'm not sure.

7 before 7

this week has been a bit hectic. just a lot to do every single night. tuesday spencer turned five. hard to believe my baby boy is already five years old. he went to school and then we surprised him with a trip to see astroboy and dinner at rainforest cafe. sensory overload...just what every five year old boy wants for his birthday. at dinner he said "you can't argue with a good birthday!" very true.

Last night I picked up Spencer, went to target for supplies for fundraiser bake sale at his school today, waited for tucker the Chihuahua hand-off (that I learned about in the morning), drove home (calling dad along the way to wish him a happy birthday), pulled in driveway and realized I (actually Meredith) forgot to return movies so turned around and returned movies. Back home at 6:45. Made dinner, opened some of Spencer's new toys (apparently everything needs to be taped, bolted, and rubber banded down). Made Spencer's lunch, did two loads of laundry, put Spencer to bed and then started making Halloween baked goods. For whatever reason I opted to be an overzealous parent with my baked goods. I had initially decided to make rice krispie treats shaped like ghosts with white frosting and chocolate chip eyes. But target did not have a ghost cookie cutter so I figured I would free hand it (feel free to laugh here). So I whipped up a double batch of rice krispie treats. And then set to work cutting them. Um, yeah. I quickly scraped the ghost idea and thought maybe witch hats would work but they just looked like, well, triangles. Even with black piping around the outside. So I then decided to hand form ghosts. Yup hand form ghosts that stood up with arms and everything. I also cut some pumpkins, a headstone, a flat ghost or two, a few more hats, and possibly some other Halloween like shapes. I smartened up for the second tray and just cut them in squares. I then used my black piping to make everything look lovely and festive. I don't know if I was channeling betty crocker or martha stewart or the ghost of Halloween past of what. It was weird. and I am not sure I liked it. anyhow I finished. Packed it all up and went to bed without getting my run in. after taking out aforementioned chihuahua and my black lab. I vowed to get up and run in the morning.

And I did. Alarm at 4:30. Up at 4:43. I dressed. Sauntered downstairs with my stomach feeling like it was retaining a cloud of gas but determined. And I ran. Ran the first 3.15 then had a drink of water. Considered stopping at 6 miles and finishing last mile tonight but that was quickly dismissed as ridiculous. especially since spencer's school was having their annual harvest party this evening. 1 mile easy; 5 miles @ tempo pace; 1 mile easy. I don't start slower than my tempo pace so I'm not sure how I would "speed up" to that. maybe i need to work on this. felt pretty good. hip started to hurt right toward the end but otherwise no real complaints. when i finished i was tired - not from running but sleepy tired. even had some caffeine today. a rare treat. but I am trying to invoke my new motto - 7 before 7. time to make a new habit.

running assessment with physical therapist in the morning. hopefully this will help the hip. and maybe tell me whatever else is wrong with my stride. i am a bit intimidated by the whole idea but intrigued as well. we shall see.

slope

i'm having a randomly difficult time this week motivating. for training. or anything (getting up. working. walking the dog. reading. you name it i probably don't really want to do it). i have a lot of excuses. but none that are very good. most of it has just been life. and part of it has been the down slope of finishing a marathon. portland was great. i had a fantastic time. it was memorable. and i came home energized and ready to tackle anything. but then everything that composes everyday immediately made its way back in. and then some. this past weekend i had a stomach virus. no details necessary. and then my back and right hamstring (yes only right) were sore from deconstructing the garden. and i have been tired. and grumpy. and despising my job. not very conducive to anything. running would of course help all of this. and if i was running all of this would matter significantly less. its a vicious cycle. however on the upside i have probably been a better parent the past few weeks. a bit more present. more doting. more attentive. not sure if spencer appreciates that or if he is ready for me to get on with my training and leave him to his own devices. i am not stressing about training right now though. if i stress i take the fun out of it and defeat the purpose. just need a little motivation. a better perspective. and perhaps someone to run with...

"I carry you with me into the world,
into the smell of rain
& the words that dance between people
& for me, it will always be this way,
walking in the light,
remembering being alive together"
-RIP Tricia (1/26/75-10/21/07) and Jeremy (8/28/78-10/22/07)