if it ain't broke...

well it kinda is broken. my knee cap that is. not even a good story to accompany it. was hanging on a bar in the bathroom trying to get it down. it came down. and so did i. needless to say i will not be running for a bit. *sigh* this could take a while. frustrating but not much i can do about it. luckily the knee cap isn't weight bearing so i can stand. and chase around the wigglers relatively well. supposed to be on crutches but honestly i haven't been using them. it's too difficult to do in the house. and with the babies. this might complicate the rehab a bit. but it is what it is. trip to memphis for december marathon is cancelled. boo. there is always next year.

refocusing

the past few months have all blurred together. the edges aren't clear. too much overlap. not enough focus. but i suppose that is what happens with sleep deprivation. and days filled with feedings and diapers and naps. times 2. it has been amazing. and exhausting. but i have been able to run. almost daily. until i hurt my knee the end of august. and i was knocked out for a bit. three runs in five weeks followed by the 10 miler last weekend. did i run fast? no. do i ever? no. but it still felt good. and consistent. i made it out there and i ran. nine months after having twins. so now here i am. 8 weeks until a marathon. not entirely sure what i was thinking. but i guess i need to run. i want to run. i get to run. just need to get up and run. one foot in front of the other. that can't be so bad...

blame it on the babies

so two weeks ago during a 16 mile run my knee started to feel weird. like maybe it was on backwards. completely normal i know. and it was smarting a bit. but workable. after the run i was hurting. so i took two days off. and iced it. and then recommenced training with a few additional runs. sunday we were slated for another 16. knee still felt a bit wonky but i figured what the heck. so we started at the lake. and then continued on to the trail by the creek/stream/small water thing. by the time we hit the second lake i was really feeling it. pain. anytime we would stop. for water. or to use the facilities. starting again was torturous. downhills felt like my leg might snap off. i mentioned not finishing out the 16. maybe just hitting 12 or 13 instead. stopping when i got back to where i was parked. i hate cutting runs short. if anything i usually am the one to push them further. but honestly this isn't my training plan. i'm just along for the ride with my friend's training. so i could justify it in my head. we took a moment to collect ourselves when we hit 12 miles. and then we took off again. and suddenly the horrible grinding pain felt a touch better. so i kept pushing. and finished out the 16. and a sense of relief washed over me. perhaps my knee had fixed itself. (insert maniacal laughter). upon returning home i found walking to be - well - difficult. my knee felt unstable. it made a clicking when i walked down stairs. all in all not good. after a rough saturday night i headed to the dr sunday morning. he asked about changes in training. terrain. etc. then he asked what i do job wise. i told him i stay home with my eight month old twins. a smile spread across his face and he said "that's it. that is your change in routine". so apparently running. combined with carrying around two squirmy babies. chasing after them. kneeling. squatting. etc. has given me patellafemoral pain syndrome. ie runner's knee. he gave me a brace. told me not to do anything that hurts. and suggested i significantly limit how much i: walk up and down the stairs. squat. kneel. bend at the knees. um sure you try to do that with two babies. so i have been resting. as much as i can. while wrangling two small humans. and living life. next weekend is the 20 miler i am registered for. i am anxious to run it. i like the course. the race is small. and i am already registered. i talked to my PT from afar (he's in CO) and he dissuaded me from partaking. ugh. we will have to see how i fair over the next few days...

where i am

so i had babies in december. via c-section. and i started running again in late february. just what i could fit in. between feedings. and diaper changes. and sleep deprivation. in january i registered for a half marathon in august. i ran a 5k in april. it wasn't pretty but i ran the whole way. in june i ran a 10k. again a bit brutal but kept running. and on the first weekend in august i did indeed run a half marathon. with negative splits. somewhere in there i decided to run another marathon. i looked around until i found one that seemed to fit. i settled on st jude memphis marathon in december. through all of this i have managed to find a stellar running partner. we wake up at 4:30am to meet before she heads off to work and before my babies are awake for the day. sometimes we talk. sometimes we just run together in silence. it has been wonderful.

don't call it a comeback

so the wigglers have arrived. and are now six weeks old. so among other things this means i can now run. slowly (as if there is another way i run). i am a bit intimidated by this prospect. it's been 10 months since i ran at all. i certainly wasn't sedentary during my pregnancy but with twin weight gain and other attendant aches and pains and girth i wasn't exactly speed walking on a weekly basis either. one of my biggest obstacles at the moment is time. i don't have any. really i don't. could i be running instead of writing this? well no. i am sitting here with one baby on my chest and the other on my lap. but i am determined to get back to it. as soon as i can.

remember when i used to run

so it has been over six months since i have run. some days it seems like forever. initially i was worn out all the time. but the past two months or so i have more energy. and i miss running. the little wigglers are growing well and we are excited to welcome them in a few more months. i know that not running was in their best interest but i must say it feels so odd. i am steadily gaining weight to support the two little humans and that has been hard to wrap my head around as well. weighing more than i ever have in my life. as much as you can know this is what is best it is still hard. pre-pregnancy i was probably in the best shape i have ever been in my life. and i'm sure that contributed to things going so well. but now it is like it is slipping away. i am trying to contemplate races in the future and wondering how i am ever possibly going to get back to where i was. i get winded walking a few miles. and i'm not sure the wigglers believe that i am a runner. i am already planning to set them up by the treadmill in their bouncy seats so they can watch me run. should be fun for all.

resurfacing

i fully realize that I haven't posted in oh, three and a half or four months, but i have been attending to important things. like growing humans. two humans to be exact. twins. so while even if i wanted to run through the nausea and exhaustion my doctor has given me a red light. cross training - sure. i can ride a stationary bike, use an elliptical, walk, or swim. probably do yoga or the like as well. but no running. i'm not sure if the doctor is concerned i will shake them out of something but i am willing to follow directions. occasionally. and he promised that within three weeks of expelling my little humans (hopefully in december) i can be up and running again. honestly running hasn't been high on my list of priorities for the past few months since i have been battling what can best be described as pregnancy related narcolepsy and an innate urge to rid my body of all food. sort of like a perpetual hang over. without the booze. or the regret. recently though the fog has begun to lift on some days. and as i drive home i see runners out along the river. and i long to be among them. when contemplating this whole have a baby thing i had always thought i would be running through it. slowly of course (if it is possible to run slower than my usual pace) so this has been an adjustment. obviously a well worth it adjustment and it's only another 6 months or so but during peak running season that is not always the easiest to digest. though sleeping in on saturday mornings does have it's benefits as well...

Running Opener

my boy makes me proud. for so many reasons but this weekend it was because i realized that my kid is a runner. saturday morning was the running opener. it was cool and quite windy but gorgeous out. spencer and i both had one thing on our mind - racing. well spencer probably was torn between running and the easter egg hunt that followed his run but still. we got up early and had our pre-race breakfast. half a trail mix bagel with pb for me. yogurt and cinnamon raisin toast for the boy. then we got dressed. i hemmed and hawed deciding what to wear since it was in the 40's but the wind was whipping around at 20-30 mph. i settled on shorts and my light windbreaker jacket over a short sleeve shirt. (this turned out to be a great decision). we woke mere up and all headed to lake phalen for the festivities to begin. the race was being chip timed for the first time and we were given ankle bracelet chips to wear - sort of like house arrest monitors for racing... but the only timing mat was at the finish line. frustrating since i certainly am not going to line up in front. now or ever. anyhow after a few minutes of waiting we were off with a READY, SET, GO! my strategy for this race was to stay with the 1 hour pacer. a 9:40 pace seemed reasonable so i went with that. first mile was tight since the race is run on the paths around the lake. everyone is jockeying for position but there really isn't anywhere to go. i opted to stay where i was and move up when i saw the chance. the first mile went smoothly. mile 2 the wind was whipping across the lake and a decent sized hill capped it off. i pulled ahead of the pacer and decided to push harder once i hit the half-way point. the wind continued to dominate through the next 3/4 mile. back near the start i saw spencer and mere and sadie cheering. the clock at the finish read 29 minutes and something seconds. the second lap of the lake was much looser. everyone had spread out and i was pushing only myself. the wind was still whipping across the lake but i didn't care. i just ran. passed a few people and tried to maintain my pace. finished in 58:48 officially (pace 9:20) - though the no mat at the start would likely account for the 20+ second difference between garmin time and official time. regardless it was under an hour for the first time ever in a 10k. last 10k was two years ago. improvement of 7:54. not too shabby. of course now i know i could have run even faster. that's why there is next time i suppose.

then it was time for spencer's 1k. he was excited. and focused. took off like a rocket. after a few minutes when we couldn't see the kids anymore i thought perhaps i should run up and make sure he hadn't decided to go for a stroll through the parking lot or anything. when i caught up with him he was on his way back and still running hard. so i joined him. at one point he wanted to walk so i asked him if he came here to run or to walk. (yes i know this potentially makes me a bad parent. or a good coach...) with about 200 yards left i stepped off the course and let him run in triumphant. after the finish he headed up for some gatorade and an oreo. need to replace those carbs!

change of pace

some days it is just one foot in front of another. other days you have to change the pace a bit. make things happen in any entirely different way. so i opted for some intervals. on an incline. i figured 5 miles worth might do the trick. it was a bit challenging. but fun all the same. half way through i hopped off for a few minutes and interspersed the run with some jumping rope. and then worked in some upper body weights. then hopped back on. cranked up the speed. and the incline. and off i went again. a bit exhausting in a good way...
then i ran around the back yard with spencer. for hours. literally. we crab walked. we ran backwards. we hopped. we sprinted. we rolled. we played football. nice way to spend a saturday.

just another run

it's been nice now for days. but yesterday was one of the first days i was actually able to get outside and run. for any number of reasons it just hadn't been happening much as of late. but yesterday there was nothing to stop me. when i arrived home from work i immediately changed into my running clothes and headed for the door. spencer tried to convince me that i should run on the treadmill with all the windows open and it would be similar. i wasn't buying it. i took just my car key and some water and drove to one of my favorite paths. i know with the onset of spring an influx of runners, walkers, bikers, and other mobile and semi-mobile folk have taken to the streets and trails en masse so i deliberately picked this area knowing that it might have some increased traffic but nothing like the lakes or the river. and then i just started running. my garmin was seemingly stalling on picking up satellites but i just felt the urge to get a move on so i started without it. and finally once it beeped its agreement i reset the last run and pressed go. i didn't really have any plan other than to run an out and back. let the day wash over me. and that was what i did. no music. no obligation. no nothing. there was nothing particularly difficult about any of the run. it was nice to see people out. a few runners. people in sweats pushing it as hard as they could perhaps embracing a new exercise plan. others in shorts looking as though this was just a usual run. everyone was friendly - offering a nod or a wave. and i enjoyed myself. i was so happy to be outside breathing in the spring air and pushing myself forward. turned around at three miles and headed back. only goal was to push a little harder. and i did. last mile i dug deep. kept thinking about my goals for an upcoming 10K and spencer's 1K that follows immediately afterward. and how close they are in time and how i will need to push it to make sure i don't miss his race. i don't think it will be a problem. came home feeling refreshed and energized. somedays "just another run" is all you need.